Every morning my 4yo tells me it’s a “blank day” because nothing good or bad has happened yet. At night, if anything remotely negative happened, she pretends to throw the memory into a garbage can to make room for more good memories.

So basically she’s already smarter than I am.
akemidawn / Via twitter.com

4yo: You’re a good dad.
Me: Thanks.
4yo: You’d be better if you said yes more.
Me: Okay.
4yo: Can I have ice cream? Think about what I said.
EverydayGirlDad / Via twitter.com

My 4 year old son asked me why I was putting on makeup and I said “To make me look pretty.” He replied “I don’t think it’s working.”
Chutup / Via twitter.com

4yo: Can you read me one more book?
Me: No kiddo, it’s time for bed.
4yo: But I’m a curious woman. And reading books helps me learn things and be smarter. Don’t you want me to learn things and be smarter?
JessicaCalarco / Via twitter.com

Overheard my 4yo explaining ‘barefoot’ to her little sister: “we call this bare feet because we’re not wearing shoes outside, just like bears.”
JLBleakley / Via twitter.com

Audrey (4yo) and I saw a big rainbow flag while in West Hollywood today.
Audrey: Daddy, what’s that? Me: A rainbow flag. It reminds us that there are lots of different kinds of people in the world & that we should love everyone. Audrey: Well I already love everyone, so I WIN.
bwecht / Via twitter.com

4-year-old: Did you know you can put cheese on anything?
Me: What?
4: *intense whisper* ANYTHING.
XplodingUnicorn / Via twitter.com

Me: Audrey, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Audrey (4yo): A music player, just like you!
Me: Yay!
Audrey: And I can play in your band!
Me: Yes please!
Audrey: And then when you die, I can take your place!
Me: …
bwecht / Via twitter.com

My 4 yr old daughter continues to ruin me….
Stood quietly in a que at the bank….
4yo- “daddy has that lady got a big baby in her tummy?”
** Fat man with long hair turns around and looks at her **
acousticcop / Via twitter.com

4yo’s doing some magic.
4yo: Did you see me put that ball under that hat?
Me: Yes.
4yo: Try to forget.
LauraPAuthor / Via twitter.com

4yo running around outside in full Batman regalia.
Me: “you can’t be out in the rain at this time of night”
4yo [exasperated]:
KennedyConnolly / Via twitter.com

4yo: *spills goldfish crackers on the floor*
Me: please pick them up
4yo: but the doggy can do that
Me: we dont have a dog
4yo: *patting 2yo bro on the head* “Nice doggy”
tenwattandrew / Via twitter.com

4 was laying on the dining room floor…
2yo: Are you dead?
4yo: No, I’m not dead. I’m resting my feelings.
cafchaosgrace / Via twitter.com

My 4yo is playing pretend with his dinosaurs and the daddy dinosaur just constantly says “I’m old let me rest.”
chemical_scum / Via twitter.com

My 4yo just asked me if I was there when we went to Disney 6 weeks ago for 5 days, so I’m obviously making a huge impact in her life.
copymama / Via twitter.com

Audrey (4yo): Daddy, what’s 100 minus 1?
Me: 99
Audrey: What’s 40 million plus one?
Me: 40,000,001
*10 seconds of stunned silence*
Audrey: Wow daddy, you know a lot of math.
bwecht / Via twitter.com

If you were wondering, when your 4 year old asks you if she can cut her hair, there’s a 100% chance it’s because she already did.
Discourt / Via twitter.com

My 4yo is playing in a large box.
Me: “Is that your rocket ship? Your castle? Your voyaging boat?”
4yo: “Nope. It’s my garbage can. I live in it.”
Dream big kid.
kloqowej / Via twitter.com

If you ever want to see how patient you are, watch a 4 yr old try to zip up their jacket. You should be canonized for sainthood after that.
martinisandmini / Via twitter.com

My 4yo has met his younger brother for the first time. Walks up to the crib, pats him on the leg, and says, “You’ll get through this,” then walks away.
this goddamn shrimp
RinChupeco / Via twitter.com

Via Bored Panda, Preview photo credit: Chutup / Twitter