#1 Are you there, God? It’s me, anxiety.
[meeting god at the pearly gates]
r u mad at me lol
sweatyhairy / Via twitter.com
#2 So when can I start?
Interviewer: would you call yourself a hard worker?
Me: absolutely. I make almost everything harder than it has to be.
thenatewolf / Via twitter.com
dankmemeuniversity / Via tumblr.com
#4 Does my therapist like me?
Me (to myself): This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,
yellowcardigan / Via twitter.com
#5 Now seems like a great time for a meltdown.
Logic: “Just apologize and explain yourself and everything will be alright.”
Anxiety: “LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!”
Marlebean / Via twitter.com
#6 They’re so loud.
erinchack / Via twitter.com
#7 This stress-relief tea doesn’t seem to be working.
[on the couch having tea]
Me: this is nice.
Anxiety: SUSPICIOUSLY NICE.
thatdutchperson / Via twitter.com
#8 Sometimes talking is hazardous to your health.
philsadelphia / Via twitter.com
#9 Did I pay for this jacket?
Anxiety is knowing you didn’t steal anything and you’re still nervous the metal dectors are going to go off
AdamSilvera / Via twitter.com
#10 When is Coachella? I need to know when to spend the week off Instagram.
INDIEWASHERE / Via twitter.com
#11 Reads WebMD once.
Brain: What disease do you think we have?
LackOfShame / Via twitter.com
#12 I’m rubber and you’re glue, please hold me.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
Words will also hurt me
Compliments make me uncomfortable
I have social anxiety
I’m a wreck
yoyoha / Via twitter.com
#13 You would be amazed how far my brain can flex.
FX, BuzzFeed Health / Via buzzfeed.com
#14 *Googles how much money should I have in my 401K by the time I’m 30*
KatePow3ll / Via twitter.com
#15 TIL coffee makes anxiety worse. Probably still going to drink 4 cups a day.
Coffee is fun because it wakes me up but ALSO it gives my anxiety the energy it needs to question every text i’ve ever sent and how i probably fucked the conversation all the way up
MattBellassai / Via twitter.com
#16 Why am I crying in the club rn?
sofiazapatab / Via twitter.com
#17 Wow that’s so sweet of you.
brain: here’s a good memory with someone who ended up really hurting you
me: why did you bring me this
brain: just because
LUClDITY / Via twitter.com
#18 Here we go again.
anxiety: oh no
me: oh god what is it
anxiety: you forgot
me: forgot what
anxiety: the thing you forgot
me: but WHICH THING
anxiety: all of them
anxiety: you’re gonna get yelled at
showupforthis / Via twitter.com
#19 Take a look around! We’re open 24/7.
thatguyCD / Via twitter.com
#20 Any Scorpios here?
How is my therapist going to look me in the eye and tell me my commitment issues stem from trauma and not my zodiac sign
pettingpuppies / Via twitter.com
#21 That was easy.
onlytwitterpics / Via tumblr.com
#22 Anxiety is like going on a constant road trip into your own insecurities.
BRAIN: hey whachya doin
ME: nothing just relaxing
BRAIN: would u like to think about all of ur failures
ME: what no
BRAIN: and away we go
bobvulfov / Via twitter.com
#23 TBH I still do this.
In elementary school when we would have read out loud to the class from the textbook I would literally count the kids in front of me and figure out what section I was reading so I could practice it before it got to my turn & I think that’s where my anxiety started.
rach_simmz / Via twitter.com
#24 I’m doing great!
#25 Every day of my life.
Im VERY laid back. i only care about 2 things:
every person on earth & their opinion of me
the crushing psychological weight of being alive
grumbist / Via twitter.com
#26 Someone get the Unsolved guys on the case.
Anxiety is literally just conspiracy theories about yourself
notmatthewww / Via twitter.com