Women can always tell when you look at our bo*bs. It doesn’t matter how quickly you glance. One second is like five seconds in bo*b time.
badassjuliawei / Via twitter.com

My ex from a couple years ago has a new girlfriend and she liked and unliked one of my pics from a year ago and if youre out there i just want you to know its ok it happens to the best of us good luck out there
ohanabaig / Via twitter.com


daniellechezzy / Via twitter.com

Women are so adorable when you compliment their dress and the dress has pockets lol
“Hey! Thats a really nice dress!”
Woman: Thanks! IT HAS POCKETS!
And then she puts her hands in them and show you lol
TheOTAPShow / Via twitter.com


georgialikesto / Via twitter.com

Women aren’t weak. I discreetly waxed my ankles during a phone interview once and didn’t drop one hint. you think this sh*t is a game? I’ll eat your husband.
AudreyPorne / Via twitter.com

Girls don’t actually shop we just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’
abblucia / Via twitter.com

I think I’m starting to understand girls
Calling another girl bit*h = probably friends
Calling another girl sweetie = definitely not friends
RyannHartley / Via twitter.com

I always feel like I’m forgetting something whenever I leave the house carrying less than like 9 purses full of garbage
audipenny / Via twitter.com

level 1: venting by crying
level 10: venting by faking a conversation in your head with someone
level 113: venting by creating an intricate alternate universe scenario in ur head where ur a celebrity on a talk show dramatically explaining the sh*t u’ve been going thru
dracomallfoys / Via twitter.com

Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second
twelveoclocke / Via twitter.com

Are you even a girl if you don’t tell people you’re wearing jeans and a nice top ????
ebonyfinchh / Via twitter.com

*owns 37 t-shirts*
*wears exactly 4 of them*
ixix82 / Via twitter.com

Me, to myself: Okay, just be cool, don’t say anything weird
Any woman: *says something that makes me laugh*
smithsara79 / Via twitter.com

[shoving glitter glue and felt pens back into my bag, visibly upset] ok look all I’m saying is maybe you guys shouldn’t have called it a ‘craft brewery’ because people are gonna get the wrong idea and lemme tell you Karen this has been a big let down
cottoncandaddy / Via twitter.com

How to apply mascara:
Pull wand from tube
Open your eyes like a haunted doll coming to life
abbycohenwl / Via twitter.com

Only two things are certain in this life: death and that if you fall asleep in a tank top when you wake up one of your tiddies will be out
OhGodItsAlexis / Via twitter.com

I am SUPER chill unless I’m hungry, overheated, running late, waiting in a long line, in traffic, at the doctor, on a beach, getting a massage, having a cocktail, sleeping
Kendragarden / Via twitter.com

So excited to transition from wearing the same 5 things in the summer to the same 5 things in the fall
aliceroth / Via twitter.com

Girls be like “can you get my lip gloss from my purse? just reach in & head left, take a right at the wallet then turn left til you pass 3 nutrigrain bars & take your next right then head straight & it should be there. if you’ve hit the 2007 target receipts you’ve gone too far”
squidslippers / Via twitter.com

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: abblucia / twitter.com