Bartender: I’m cutting you off. only water from now on
Jesus: [sarcastically] oh no
AbbieEvansXO / Via twitter.com
[God creating the ocean]
GOD: Just put water friggin everywhere.
ANGEL: Nice, that way if they’re thirsty, they—
GOD: Make it undrinkable.
pentyfuma / Via twitter.com
cutefrosting / Via tumblr.com
2wn / Via tumblr.com
setheverman / Via tumblr.com
koinohnia / Via tumblr.com
[God creating cheesecake]
GOD: [stuffing his face] oh man this is so good
ANGEL: shouldn’t u share it?
GOD: [creates lactose intolerance]
shutupthatswho / Via twitter.com
Me: So Christ’s body is the bread?
Me: and he rose from the grave
Me: because of the yeast?
Me: okay, none of this makes sense
Megatronic13 / Via twitter.com
kalvinmacleod / Via twitter.com
I’ll bet when Godzilla first came out, God was like “Damn, that name’s way cooler.”
elleohhell / Via twitter.com
meaninglessmonicker / Via tumblr.com
endhoos / Via twitter.com
GOD: there, my first animal :)
SNAKE:youre not done right? How am I supposed to move?
thetits / Via twitter.com
stephdamen / Via tumblr.com
peetasallhehasleft / Via tumblr.com
Lancewastaken / Via reddit.com
Jesus must’ve hated that his birthday fell so close to christmas
meganamram / Via twitter.com
huntigula / Via twitter.com
Judas: still on for Friday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas
david8hughes / Via twitter.com
Jesus: this jesus bread is my body
Jesus: this jesus wine is my blood.
Jesus: this jesus fish is a sweet decal for your bumper
Disciples: *just losing their sh*t*
nyquills / Via twitter.com
maxiesatanofficial / Via tumblr.com