By the age of 35, every woman should:
- be walking around the house saying, “Why is every single light on? Do I look like I’m made of money? Open a curtain for once, will you?”
- wonder aloud why this room that she just tidied is messy again
- have developed a library of sighs
anne_theriault / Via twitter.com
I’d like to add “aggressively wiping counters”
NotGIJoe / Via twitter.com
In addition I mutter “what the actual hell?” 300 times a day under my breath and feel this another 300…
SAHoganCooke / Via twitter.com
-want to be invited, but do NOT want to come to any event. Ever.
notoriousmkb / Via twitter.com
-understand why Britney had a breakdown
-be able to wipe a surface, carry on a conversation and apply make up/grooming at the same time
-realise all those “strange angry loud older women who don’t have husbands” are actually good and normal
baeoflight / Via twitter.com
“You’re cold? You’re COLD!?
You’re wearing a t-shirt!!
Put a sweater on!!
belllindsay / Via twitter.com
-think back like a love lost to all the sunscreen I should have been wearing in my teens and twenties and try to emotionally prepare to look like the crypt keeper
-thinks “I would go out to twerk in club if I could go at like 4pm”
-set books by bed. never read books.
MariaHeinegg / Via twitter.com
To child :
-”Well I’m not cleaning that”
KDL0888 / Via twitter.com
-Pondered out loud multiple times “Why is the TV on if no one is in this room?!”
-Own seventeen different outfits that you hate and don’t fit yet can’t get rid of “for reasons”
-A stack of ten year old magazines from a hobby you never really got in to buy “might pick up again”
BrashPop / Via twitter.com
Discussing household appliances, often enthusiastically, the way you’d previously have talked about your favourite bar/club/place to shop for clothes.
IDKirstin / Via twitter.com
If, by the age of 35, you are not having animated one sided conversations with yourself, better check your birth certificate just to be sure you got your age right.
beccastokes / Via twitter.com
Curse under her breath about neighbors who use leaf blowers and power tools after 7pm
nkmcafee3 / Via twitter.com
Getting up to get something from another room only to get there and forget what you were supposed to grab so you sit down again and immediately remember what it was you meant to get in the first place UGH
AHareInTheWoods / Via twitter.com
Makes doctors and dentist appointments for everyone, but hasn’t had a physical herself in like 3 years.
thexybeatht / Via twitter.com
She also asks, is it too early for wine at 9am
alohaMySpace / Via twitter.com
My God, I just realized I am a 35-year-old woman.
Dont_CallMeDave / Via twitter.com