The most liberating Adult thing ive recently discovered is i can eat garlic bread WHENEVER I WANT. I can go to the store, buy a huge crusty loaf, slap some butter and minced garlic on that bit*h, pop it in the oven and bam. Garlic bread for breakfast
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At what point in adulthood are you suddenly able to tell when meat is cooked through
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Does anyone actually fold their fitted bed sheets or do we all just agree to not mention it and bundle them up in a ball somewhere no one can see??
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How did I get this old without developing any time management skills :/
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Oh my God, I forgot about MY PILLOWS.
I get to go to bed WITH NEW PILLOWS! And freshly laundered sheets!
This is adulthood, friends. This is what you get excited about when you’re an adult.
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I can confirm that as an adult 85% of your day is spent wondering when you can stop being an adult and just go to bed.
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me as a child: when I grow up I’m gonna be so organized and healthy and have a house and a car and a dog and-
me, an adult, at 3am: peanut butter counts as a meal, right
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One of the worst and best things about being an adult, is that I can eat a full tub of hummus and nobody can stop me
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As a kid the two most hated things are eating and sleeping, as adults the two favorite things are eating and sleeping
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Dont you hate when you get to work and there’s work to do
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Well, I rang in the new year by doing five loads of laundry and putting away most of my floordrobe, so I feel like I’m off to a good start.
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Do you ever just like…. get a 404 error on a basic conversation?
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me: *gets into bed at 11:59pm*
me: I’m in bed before midnight, look at that! I’m such a Responsible Adult with a functional sleep schedule!
me: *stays on my phone until 3am*
me: SO RESPONSIBLE
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I have more of a maternal instinct for my plant than I do for other children.
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BEING AN ADULT IS HARD
I thought I’d have a lot more free time and ice cream
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Sometimes I am so tired but I refuse to sleep because I know in the morning I’ll have to get up and do stuff
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My mom: Why isn’t there any meat in your fridge?
Me: Because I’m not made of money.
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Eating buckwheat cereal with oat milk as dinner is probably the most adult thing i have done in a long time.
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You know you’re an adult when you get excited about using a new sponge.
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Being an adult absolutely means you can eat a giant bowl of mashed potatoes for dinner.
Whose going to stop you?
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Adulthood is like eating a dinner of leftover tuna salad, leftover Mongolian beef, and leftover Croque Monsieur — no one else would plan that particular meal, and it may be weird and whatever but it still gets the job done.
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hello yes i’d like to return Monday and cancel my subscription to Adult Life Daily
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You know you’re getting older when cleaning the house is therapeutic after so many years of resistance.
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Me, 5-years-old: $5 is expensive
Me, 15-years-old: Wow, $5? that’s cheap
Me, 22-years-old: $5 is expensive
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Being an adult is having the money to buy Fruit Loops for breakfast every day but knowing better.
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