"Have you ever realized your jaw has been tightly clenched for the last 15 years?"

Be still, my HEART!!!

"My closest friend once told me I look like an accounting major going through her second divorce."

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn. Kid was born bigger than anticipated. Absolutely jacked."

Use the clips on a hanger to keep the curtains closed!

We don’t need to do anything more than to appreciate their adorableness.

They mean well...I think.

Seriously America, what is candy corn?

Please hit me as hard as you can.

We love you, but please, we beg of you, move the cursor off the play bar.

Lizzo + The Aristocats = a perfect collab.

Watch out for Thor's lightning balls.

Are you SURE you're not mad at me?

Motherhood is going just about as good as expected.

In today's news, all these animals are still big stimky chonkers.

Bless 'em.