That adults knew what they were doing.

For some reason I remember someone telling me when I was younger that Adolf Hitler had a brother…called Harry. I went entirely too far into my teenage life believing that next to the evil of Adolf, was the relative normalcy of Harry Hitler.

I used to think that movies became black and white once they became old.

That the black market was an actual place that sold illegal stuff like a criminal Costco.

I honestly thought watermelons were human eggs. I thought it was ok, just like eating chicken eggs because they weren’t fertilized and were never going to be babies.

I thought pants was spelled pance.

I thought actors were supposed to die IRL when their characters get killed in the movies/TV shows. Really respected them for such dedication.

I thought pepperoni was a vegetable. I was 22 before I found out it was from a pig. It was the most brain shattering moment of my life.

That my Star Wars action figures could help me find my lost Star Wars action figures. Raise their right arm, chuck’em in the air , and follow where their arm pointed.

My mom used to tell me that If I keep swallowing my gum it’s going to keep getting stuck to both my lungs until it pulls them together and crushes my heart.

That I wasn’t smart or pretty because god needed to save those things for kids who weren’t going to die. (I had cancer)

When my car was driving down the road, we weren’t moving—we were stationary and the earth rotated under our wheels.

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