*cries & laughs & cries & laughs forever*

Millennials can't afford homes because they are greedily using both kidneys.

A woman yelled at me for watching her swim. I was a lifeguard.

How about a tie dye chicken who screams actual words at you?

Featuring cute family members and even cuter pets.

Rapunzel's pubes must have been next level.

A few days ago, Jimmy Fallon asked his Twitter followers to "tweet out something weird, funny, or embarrassing your dad has said".

Go on. Have a giggle.

Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner.

Millennials are killing APPLEBEE'S!

I, too, spend $13.7 billion at Whole Foods.

Use cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes, rice, and any joy in your life. You have no friends now, there is only cauliflower.

"There's no party in hell; it's just one endless BBQ!" — some church sign

Things may be bad, but they could be so much worse.

Each time you board a plane and look for your seat, a small part of you is begging to be seated beside someone interesting.

Why I love NYC. ???