16 Hilarious Reasons Why The French Language Is The Worst

1.
I love how potato in French is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”
like what stupid frenchman saw this:

yaoibutts
and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”
j’adore comment ananas se dit pineapple en anglais, ce qui veut littéralement dire “pomme de pin”, genre quel type anglais a vu ça:

et s’est dit : “ow cette étrange big fruit ressemble à une, how do you say, POMME! hmmm… mais plutôt une pomme qui pousse dans les pins… HU HU HU! OH YES, IT’S A PINEAPPLE!”
(z’avez vu, on peut le faire aussi… hon hon hon!)

2.
i always see posts making fun of quatre-vingt-dix-neuf meaning 99 and the French numeric system in general
but have you ever seen the French for What is that?
it’s qu’est-ce que c’est? and it literally translates to
what is this that this is?
languagenerds

3.
Every time someone types “lmao” I imagine a french cat.
booksofadam

4.
French Person:I’ve got four twenties, ten and nine problems and the way my language counts is one of them
yip-yip

5.
FRANCE: ten
FRANCE: twenty
FRANCE: thirty
FRANCE: forty
FRANCE: fifty
FRANCE: sixty
FRANCE:
FRANCE:
FRANCE: sixty ten
WORLD: france what are you do—
FRANCE: four twenties
WORLD: france stop it
FRANCE: four twenties ten
WORLD: france that doesn’t even make any sense
FRANCE:
FRANCE:
FRANCE:
WORLD:
FRANCE:
WORLD:
FRANCE: hundred.
awesomefrench

6.
Things French parents say to their kids

When we forget to turn off a light:
C’est pas Versailles ici !
Hey, we’re not in Versailles !
When we stand between them and something they want to see:
Et ton père, il est vitrier ?
Is your father a glazier?
nope-not-true

When you are hungry but the dinner is not ready yet
Ben mange ta main et garde l’autre pour demain !
Well, eat your hand and save the other one for tomorrow !
nous-les-cancres

What’s for dinner ?
Des caillous.
Pebbles.
When you lie too obviously :
Et mon cul c’est du poulet.
And my ass is made of chicken.
jadisjavaisuncoeur

When you are in a bad mood :
Mange des carottes, ça rend aimable.
Eat some carrots, you’ll be nicer
When you are throwing a tantrum :
Pleure un coup, tu pisseras moins.
Go on and cry, you’ll piss less.
ewnor

And the world wonders why we are so sassy. ambrena

7.
french is such a beautiful language

mysterymirrors

8.
I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers –johnhamishmorstan

what why would you use numbers –aphtaiwan

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH –sluttynuggets

America makes no sense, as usual.

–amazingpeetaisnotonfire

bless the person that actually made the chart –lumos5001

laughter from France

–mybine

France what the fuck raptortooth

9.
Le vouvoiement expliqué aux américains.

imgur

10.
Le ver vert va vers le verre vert [ The green worm goes towards the green glass ]

I_am_the_1_who_knox

11.
French: …Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine, sixty-ten…
Other languages: **stares**
French: **stares back**
French: …sixty-eleven, sixty-twelve, sixty-thirteen…
sadjadewithcake

French: …sixty-sixteen, sixty-ten-seven…
Other languages: *shutting eyes*
French: …sixty-ten-eight, sixty-ten-nine…
Other languages: *hands over face*
French: …four twenties! :) Four twenties one…
kellhorreur

12.

deadlyballlpointpens

13.
In France we say “les anglais ont débarqué” which means “The English have landed” to talk about having our periods. This is really funny because it goes back to the time Napoleon lost in Waterloo in 1815 against the English and then they went to France to occupy. The english soldiers had red uniforms and the people hated so much the english that they used them to talk about periods. The feud France/England is so funny, everyone is so bitter
two-locked-boxes

14.
never forget that for voldemort’s name to rearrange to “je suis voldemort” in the french translations, they had to make his middle name ‘Elvis’ fuckyeahlukemyernaked

I CANT HANDLE THIS

karemloo

are we just ignoring that wand is called a baguette in french?
the baguette chooses the wizard mr. potter

dayofthefishdoctor

FRENCH
nolightnosound