Overheard Memphis:
“Did you guys know that Pearl Harbor has a 25% on Rotten Tomatoes”
“Aww, that just makes me feel bad for the people who went through it, cause that’s disrespectful!”
CaroVaughn / Via twitter.com

“Why the fu*k are you having an affair? I fu*k you and su*k you everyday… how could you do this… you’re a piece of sh*t… yeah I’ll make lasagna tonight… ” Overheard at target, with her kids.
RachRedux / Via twitter.com

I overheard a girl say to her pal yesterday, “I mean if you can get away with wearing clothes that look and feel like pyjamas outside, why wouldn’t you?” And honestly, mood
__aIana / Via twitter.com

Overheard at my 11yo son’s Harry Potter party: a boy trying to cast a spell by chanting “Ivanka Kadarvra”. (Wonder what that changes you into?)
DuchessSpotting / Via twitter.com

(overheard in the Ed Dept. kitchen)
Fav. Prof. #1: “Why do we have so much coffee?”
Fav. Prof. #2: “Because it’s the Ed Dept.”
Fav. Prof. #1: *looks in fridge* “Why do we have wine in here?”
Fav. Prof. #2: “…because it’s the Ed Dept…”
mpf77367 / Via twitter.com

Overheard someone ordering their lunch today say, “I don’t care if there’s romaine lettuce in it, I could use a break”
evvvvvvve / Via twitter.com

Overheard: “yeah, hi Larry, I’m actually on the lavatory so can I call you back when I’ve finished the paperwork?”
_TomMcLaughlin / Via twitter.com

Overheard conversation of kamryn talking to my mom: “yeah i had sleep paralysis and i couldn’t move my body. and then Pitbull was just at the foot of my bed”
kylie_salcedo / Via twitter.com

Overheard from the bus stop:
“owls definitely don’t hoot that frequently, bro. the school system’s got you fu*ked up.”
livxmay_ / Via twitter.com

“I WAS gonna eat a granola bar, but now that I’m employed, I’m gonna eat a SANDWICH for dinner!” – overheard in the Starbucks line
almostmegatron / Via twitter.com

I was on FaceTime with my mom while she was shopping and I overheard another customer say “they use shaving cream instead of whipped cream!!”
the locals are coming. this is not a drill.
pettcheetah / Via twitter.com

Overheard at the Rose Bowl Flea Market: “John Mayer personally blessed these track pants.”
dave_schilling / Via twitter.com

Overheard a Target: “You just have to keep it alive. So basically, like, having a kid is like having a 18 year pet.”
Not quite right, but sure.
ieatpoems / Via twitter.com

BF overheard me listening to the “Thank U, Next” video and asked “Is she saying ‘bacon, eggs’?” so that is how I will be singing this song from now on, thank you.
GenevieveKoski / Via twitter.com

Overheard a woman yelling, offended “i do NOT have a small face” at her friend
1800GHOSTIE / Via twitter.com

Conversation I overheard at work this morning:
“Hey, how are you?”
“Oh, living the dream.”
“Whose dream?”
“Everybody’s but mine.”
bekikautz / Via twitter.com

“I’ve got my pants if I need them” – overheard in the newsroom.
abraymccloud / Via twitter.com

Overheard in the office: “Well, it’s time to open up my e-mail and see who’s going to piss me off today.”
DianneValiando / Via twitter.com

Overheard at my 12-YO’s sleepover: “We’re not allowed to have phones in class but my friends and I still text each other on paper.
aerin_odellEdD / Via twitter.com

Overheard in the newsroom: “I’m struggling to define ‘foreign tax credit’ w/o using the words foreign, tax, or credit.”
RachaelDaigle / Via twitter.com

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: abraymccloud / twitter