1.
[jesus washing disciples feet]
jesus:
disciples:
jesus:
disciples:
jesus:
disciples:
jesus: this…this is weird isnt it
EJGomez
2.
Me @ the pope when he goes past in the popemobile
bencarrxll
3.
Muggers: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE
Me: My Lord will protect me
Muggers: Haha, right-
Jesus: [appears wielding dual katanas]
I smell SINNERS
Reverend_Scott
4.
IM CRYING LAUGHING
thatgirlsalina
5.
Noah: Two? Why two of every animal?
[God whispers in Noah's ear]
Noah: nice lol
shutupmikeginn
6.
OregonJOBS2
7.
priest: body of Christ
me: which part
priest: no the wafer is merely a symbo-
me: u got a thigh left
parsfarce
8.
Waiter: “Would you like a drink?”
Jesus: “Water is fine.”
Jesus: [looks directly into camera]
bvorwerk
9.
If you want to read Shrek’s favorite verse in the Bible just open up to Psalm –
BODY ONCE TOLD ME
NoahHerrin
10.
Judas: still on for Friday?
Jesus: Friday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas
david8hughes
11.
Nobody talks about Jesus’ miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s
Mormonger
12.
me: “we commemorate the day you died every year”
jesus: “thats nice, what’s the day called?”
me:
jesus:
me:
jesus: “keith?”
me: “bad friday”
KeetPotato
13.
By this age I thought I’d be more successful.
TheTweetOfGod
14.
JESUS: so I’m u
GOD: yes
JESUS: and ur me
GOD: yes
JESUS: I don’t get it
GOD: I do
JESUS: how can one of us get it & not the other
GOD: whoa
matt___nelson
15.
don’t u think that mary just cheated on joseph and her cover story got a bit out of hand
loulouisepacker
16.
I’ll bet when Godzilla first came out, God was like “Damn, that name’s way cooler.”
ElleOhHell
17.
Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I’m freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
primawesome
18.
[jesus breaks bread] this is my body
[pours wine] this is my blood
[opens a jar of mayonnaise]
judas: i’m gonna stop you right there..
arhtullahen
19.
In Heaven
Me: I can’t believe how much stuff the Bible got wrong
Gid: You idiots couldn’t even get my Giddamn name right
ItsAndyRyan
Via BuzzFeed