Mukil Raj

I lost 90% of my left eyesight because my dad wouldn’t believe me when I told him I was gradually losing my eyesight.

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I barely remember how old I was when my left eye was weaker than my right eye.

So I told my dad my problem. I guess I was 9 or 10 years old then. I would constantly remind him each year how my eyesight was diminishing year after year, and all he would do was just joke about it and ask me to close one eye and tell him the number of fingers he was showing.

It was pretty dumb idea because even if your eyesight is too bad you can still count the number of fingers shown to you. But when it comes to reading, for example from a classroom board it was really difficult for me. And of course I passed his dumb test. My eyes remained untreated. It was not because he couldn’t afford it, because he wouldn’t believe me.

This continued for 5 more years until I started losing my right eyesight. This time I was so frustrated and I was struggling with it. Finally after giving so much pressure I was able to convince my dad to take me to get my eyes checked.

My dad couldn’t believe when the doctor told him that my left eyesight has become so weak and cannot be corrected by lens. Also it was untreatable since the nerves have become weak. He also asked why I had waited so long to get my eyes checked. If I had gone when I first noticed it I could have corrected my eyesight with spectacles and maybe a minor surgery.

What makes me more sad is that my parents could afford it and it’s something that was done intentionally. If I couldn’t afford it I wouldn’t have much regret.

As a result my dream to pursue my career as a pilot was shattered. Two of my brothers’ classmates who studied in my school are now pilots. And me?


At 25 – I paid for my sisters wedding entirely. Although Indian weddings are nonsense, unnecessary, you don’t have an option for your sisters. You can have a simple wedding for yourself but for the women in the family, especially when they like someone, you can’t help but pay up.

My dad left us when I was 21, so I never wasted any money saving up every month.

So how much did I pay? 1.5 million INR – $23000

Would you believe? We had to pay dowry for a love marriage. I won’t get into details because I couldn’t avoid it especially when my sister liked whom she was marrying.

At 21, I wanted to study and do my MBA because I believe I am talented and can do better than what I am doing now. I couldn’t because dad left us and I had to be the provider. Now at 25, I want to do my MBA but I can’t because I do not have any money left. Do I take a loan and risk being in debts at 27, 28 with a dependent mother? I do not think it is wise to do that.

So yes, men suffer too.

I’m unable to fulfill my dream YET for being a responsible son and a responsible brother.

P.S. I had to get this off my chest because I am proud of being responsible towards my sister.

Via Quora