1.
If I lie down for 22 hours a day during my period and stay away from anyone with an opinion, it’s, like, pretty manageable.
@smickable
2.
I wish my PMS would manifest itself in a desire to clean rather than a desire to invent foods to put salsa on
@Angneedshelp
3.
I have my period so according to commercials I guess I should put in a tampon and go cycling now or something.
@OhNoSheTwitnt
4.
[me watching HGTV on my period]
I don’t even care if they love it or list it , i just hope they’re happy as a family
@1followernodad
5.
ive made myself a menstrual hut in the office
if you find it pls come by periodically to bring me snacks & then immediately leave me alone
@brokeymcpoverty
6.
Nurse: Name?
Me: Erica
Nurse: Drug allergies?
Me: Penicillin
Nurse: 1st day of last period?
Me: Umm…Can’t remember. Ask Dunkin Donuts.
@SCbchbum
7.
I never wear white during my period because it’d be embarrassing if I got bloodstains from killing someone who asked if I’m on my period
@Bez
8.
when ur having period cramps but u gotta play it cool
@jaureguisdesire
9.
I don’t need a period tracker app I just know it’s coming when I start masturbating to mall pretzels.
@1followernodad
10.
My doctor asked where I was in my menstrual cycle so I told her I’m on the ‘assuming everyone is mad at me’ day.
@Kendragarden
11.
putting my overheating macbook charger on my stomach to help period cramps because I’m a modern woman
@Brocklesnitch
12.
I get it, guy with a sweatshirt tied around your waist. You’re on your period too.
@SCbchbum
13.
If I don’t eat chocolate during my period what will my new uterine lining be made of?
@smickable
14.
forgot butter and ran down to the market with no bra and period boobs and i get why people get reductions now
@MarissaARoss
15.
If you do absolutely anything at all while on your period you should be given a Nobel Prize and a mountain of the food of your choice.
@jennyjaffe
16.
I don’t need to check my period tracker. I just pointed at a squirrel and said, “You’re a beautiful fuckwad, you know that?”
@Kendragarden
17.
I feel like my period is throwing a Project X-style rager inside me right now. Like its parents went away for the weekend & my uterus is lit
@jillboard
18.
Please specify reason for your merchandise return:
-Too big
-Too small
-Wrong color
-Damaged
√ PMS
@SCbchbum
19.
If you’ve never had period cramps, have you ever been stabbed repeatedly in the lower abdomen? It’s that but less fun.
@jennyjaffe
20.
things I’ve cried about on my period recently
1. a car’s sparkly paint job (reason: so PRETTY)
2. my dying plant (reason: i kill everything)
@sammynickalls
21.
I wish that instead of apologizing, you could tell people “today is brought to you by my period”
@aparnapkin
22.
My friend calls her period her “Aunt Flo.” I call mine “Fuck This Shit, I’m Getting Wasted And Eating Reese’s Pieces.”
@Kendragarden
23.
Just talking makes my nipples hurt.
@jennyandteets
24.
starting your period counts as half a day of work
@BisHilarious
25.
Menstruation is a pretty metal adaptation. Like, no I don’t want to fuck right now. To further my point here’s some BLOOD.
@OhNoSheTwitnt
26.
a lot of women hate getting their period and I don’t know why. I personally love laying on the couch eating chocolate and praying for death
@hellolanemoore