1.
10 a.m.: champagne toast for coworker who got engaged
4 p.m.: champagne toast for coworker who got married
at least i’m drunk
jabush
2.
Tbt to Halloween when I dressed as the babadook but my friend’s house had more of a grown ups drinking wine vibe
katiedippold
3.
Weird how my coworkers keep asking me what i’m doing after work like the answer is ever going to be anything but “laying on the floor”
frenchielaboozi
4.
Doctor: How often do you exercise?
Me: I try to every day
Doctor: [checks off "none"]
megankcomedy
5.
Hello little dog, won’t you say hi
Please wag your tail
Or i will die
figgled
6.
I gotta stop bringing up finishing seasons of TV shows like it’s an accomplishment
shutupmikeginn
7.
Maybe my stomach hurts because all I eat is boba and salt. Maybe I’m dying! Who knows, really……
shelbyfero
8.
To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want… Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please.
9.
Had to RSVP no to my middle school crush’s wedding so i put on k-ci & jojo & awkwardly slow-danced with myself as i pushed send
keelyflaherty
10.
I think about children the same way I think about squirrels, “oh, there’s a squirrel” and then that’s the end of it
alicewhitey
11.
When I’m stressed, I make a to-do list of small, achievable tasks
1. Eat full pint of Americone Dream
2. Fall asleep in my clothes
DanaSchwartzzz
12.
The treadmill is a perfect metaphor for my life bc no matter how much i think im progresing im realy in the same place but also now im tired
jonnysun
13.
Passed a dog wearing a vest that said “careful! i’m still learning how to be around people” and experienced a borderline-spiritual “same”
christinefriar
14.
I was going through a mid 20s crisis & have gotten a septum piercing & tattoo for my cat in the last two days & now I’m outta the crisis.
laurennostro
15.
Recent google search: how to remain a relatable teen well into your mid to late twenties
Zackarad
16.
sometimes i’m OK and sometimes i cry when I drop my fork and have to bend down to pick it up
KirstenKing_
17.
HANGOVER LEVEL: I’m still in bed and there are no more Instagrams left. I’ve looked at all of Instagram.
alispagnola
18.
Is it bad to water ur plants w seltzer or is it fancy
hallithbates
19.
Hi, I just bought new underwear because my sister claimed the ones she saw me in this weekend were “from 2003″ I am an adult woman
bennettleigh
20.
A separate driving lane for people who aren’t emotionally stable enough to make decisions but still want to participate in traffic
mrsjohngoodman
21.
Same
sbellelauren
Via BuzzFeed