I need 3 weeks dedicated to sleep. -9GAG

Cows can walk upstairs, but not downstairs. -OMG Facts

Almost the perfect break-up text. -Funny Tweets

cute things to call your girlfriend:
1. sugar
2. honey
3. flour
4. egg
5. 1/2lb butter
6. stir
7. pour into pan
8. preheat to 375°
-Funny Tweets

When you’ve got ear phones in but forget and walk away from your laptop. -9GAG

“Your storage is full” thanks Apple, I’ll just go delete some photos of my friends and family but at least I’ll always have the stocks app -Funny Tweets

11 pm: I think I might go to bed early tonight
3 am: lol -Funny Tweets

Teacher: “If you have 10 chocolate cakes and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left?”
Me: “10.” -Funny Tweets