1. This stressful occurrence.
The life of a pet owner: “What are you eating? OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU EATING???”
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2. This feeling of pride when your dog does literally anything.
ME:My dog is so smart!
[ dog proceeds to attack own tail for five solid minutes ]
ME, WIPING AWAY A TEAR OF JOY: … So smart.
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3. Or even when they do nothing.
My dog: *does absolutely nothing*
Me: this dog. This dog is the greatest dog. If all dogs were ruled by one alpha dog it would be this dog. This dog should win an award. I love this dog
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4. And this exchange that happens no matter how many times you explain things to your dog.
Dog: for dog ? :)
Me: not for dogs!!!
Dog: …
Dog: for dog ? :)
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5. This thing we all do.
*takes the collar off my dog* ur nakey
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6. This truth that you believe in.
Everybody thinks their dog is the best dog in the world and everybody is right
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7. This example of how your memory works.
Me: *forgets everyone’s birthdays, anniversaries, and deaths*
Also me: this is my dog he was born on an overcast November 29, 2005 at approximately 5:56pm, with a waning moon and the zodiac sign Sagittarius
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8. This reaction to anyone criticising your dog.
Someone: your pet is fat
Dog person: WHAT how DARE you call my dog fat ill have you know that hes 100 POUNDS OF PURE LEAN MUSCLE
Cat person: haha yeah
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9. This action that no dog owner thinks twice about.
You can tell dog owners apart from non dog owners because dog owners have no problem sticking their hand in a dog’s mouth when it’s got hold of something it shouldn’t have
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10. This struggle that happens almost every day.
*trying to reposition myself with a dog on my lap* sorry sorRY sORRY don’t leave pls
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11. And this feeling when they decide to bark at all hours.
My dog: barks @ 1am
Me: look i also would like to scream loudly in the middle of the night but we dont always get what we want
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12. This beautiful exchange.
Me: Who’s a good boy? Dog: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Me: YOU’RE A GOOD BOY!
Dog: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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13. And this one that sounds pretty familiar.
My mom just yelled “it’s called common sense” at my dog
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14. This joyful moment.
When u call for ur dog n u hear the lil pap pap pap of their feet as they come to u
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15. And this consequence of showing them affection.
When u show love to your pet and they end up sitting on your lap but u got things to go do

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16. This searing insult you’d use.
My dog don’t like you and he likes everyone
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17. And this moment every time one of you sneezes.
Dog: *sneezes*
Me: bless you
Me: *sneezes*
Dog:
Me: what a rude a*s bit*h
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18. This example of how your dog basically rules you.
Me, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet
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19. This conversation that would definitely be you and your dog.
If My Dog Could Talk
Dog: WAT DOING
Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
Dog: WHERE GO
Me: I’m literally walking 3 feet away. I’m not even leaving the room.
Dog: CAN I COME
Me: I mean sure but I’m literally just-
Dog: I COME TOO
Dog: WAT DOING
Me: I need to open this door.
Dog: I HALP
Me: No but you’re in front of the door. Move please.
Dog: I HALP
Me: Sigh.
Dog: WHERE GOING
Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
Dog: CAN I COME
Me: Sure.
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Me: No please don’t you are-
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Me: No there’s no room and-
Dog: LAP
Me: No, sit on the floor and I’ll pet you.
Dog: RIGHT HERE
Me: That’s literally on top of my leg.
Dog: IT’S PERFECT PET ME
Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me: I AM
Dog: I SIT IN LAP
Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
Me: …….
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20. And this question that you wish you could get the answer to.
I wish i knew what you were thinking
I just realized this probably sounds really deep about some boy or something but its about my dog
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21. This moment that’s definitely happened.
Me whispering to my dog in the dark: hey.. you still up?
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22. This ideal person we all strive to be.
Be the person your dog thinks you are
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