Overheard conversation between two older women leaving cinema after A Star Is Born…”You know she is actually a famous singer in real life, but I don’t think Lady Gaga is her real name”
sagrassick / Via twitter.com

Just overheard a customer talking to a coworker
“I need a diffuser. If I can’t cleanse my soul I’ll cleanse my house”
Boy I FELT that
LaurenZoomZoom / Via twitter.com

Overheard in New York City: “I’m going to need a therapist to talk about my therapist.”
kuarhickey / Via twitter.com

Just overheard some dude I passed walking into my apartment building turn to his friend and say “wow what a great costume” with the most sarcastic tone. i’m in my ihop uniform lmfao
reagalexxa / Via twitter.com

Overheard on our halloween trick or treat walk
10-y-o boy walking from house to parents: do they think this is ACCEPTABLE?! Instead of candy…… they gave us TOOTHBRUSHES!
tunayo / Via twitter.com

Overheard in the lobby
Guy 1: Hey dude, you’ve got some updog on your face
Guy 2, offended: Is that your way of trying to tell me I’m hairy? *walks away*
Guy 1, to himself: ᴺᵒᵗ ᵐᵘᶜʰ ʰᵒʷ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ
LandonBromuto / Via twitter.com

Overheard in the newsroom: “It’s two Fridays in a row, Marc, that Florida has fu*ked me”
MarcACaputo / Via twitter.com

In Court:
Judge – “Sir, do you plead guilty or jot guilty or no contest?”
“Sir, which do you plead?”
Man – “Well I did it, but don’t want to get in trouble so…”
ShitIHearOnDuty / Via twitter.com

Overheard on 46th street:
“There’s something that makes me uncomfortable about seeing marquees of closed shows still up. It’s like having an open casket at a funeral”
AlexaSpiegel / Via twitter.com

Overheard during trick or treat from a parent: “My kid should just retain me to negotiate her candy trading. I’ll take 10 percent.”
jay_chaudhuri / Via twitter.com

Overheard: “you can have my journals when I’m dead. I’ve been writing since 1988.”
Paige_Melin / Via twitter.com

Overheard in the cafeteria today – “Don’t ostracize librarians; they are like the bees, once they are gone we have nothing.”
aastew2 / Via twitter.com

I overheard my dad on the phone today…………..
Guy on the phone: “Hey Rooster how you doin today?”
My dad: “Mannnnnn I’m hangin in there like a hair on a biscuit.”
LaurelBall / Via twitter.com

Overheard in the neighborhood: “This is the worst Halloween of my (seven-year-long) life!”
MamaChockley / Via twitter.com

Overheard in movie theater:
Lady 1: She’s in that lawyer show.
Lady 2: What?
L1: That show. She’s a lawyer. She teaches.
L2: About murder?
L1: That’s it. A murder lawyer.
L2: Hm.
L1: It’s “How to commit murder.”
L2: That’s it. “Committing Murder.”
Both agree and move on
C1McKnight / Via twitter.com

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: LandonBromuto / Twitter