My Kid Is Weird

1. This one that’s pure
My kid told me that my butt looked like a bag full of chicken nuggets.
JarenMcCormick

2. This mystery
My nephew once sneezed out a Sour Patch Kid. I still have no idea where it came from
mollyligonn

3. This “been there” moment
One of the kids in my class came out of the bathroom and quietly said to himself.. “Well that hurt…”
facelessukulele

4.
My 3 year old asks to have her picture taken with store mannequins

Jenboston

5. This original excuse
When I caught my daughter picking her nose, she said, “I’m putting it back in.”
BaristaSimmer

6. This “Yay, parenting!” moment
My 9 year old daughter asked “Mommy when I grow up, will my bo*bs be as long as yours?”
jehedgesphoto

7. This top secret sign
Found this on the dining room wall. Asked our 4yo son what it meant; he said, “You can’t know.”

TMCully

Mom Quotes

8. This savage mom move
When my mom would drive us kids around, she would brake really hard to make us lean forward and she’d say “bow to Mom” Every. Single. Time.
_itsLJ_

9. This almost catchphrase
My mom made up her own saying in the 90s when the “talk to the hand” phase was popular. Hers was “talk to the palm, cause you aint the mom.”
Simpoevsky

10. This new word
One night my mom announced that we were having roast Bork for dinner. We asked her what that was and she said she defrosted something from the freezer and couldn’t tell if it was beef or pork
JulesRead1

11. This new slang word
One time I called my mom “Bro” and she goes “I’m not your bro or your hoe, I’m your Mo”
devholla14

12. This “I don’t think that means what you think it means” moment
My mom told me she and the lady across the street were “Friends with Benefits.” I asked her what that meant, and she said “You know, we get each other’s mail when they’re out of town and stuff.”
Brennen_Hancock

13. This “I don’t think it works they way you think it does” moment
My mom couldn’t find the movie she wanted on Netflix. “Oh well, someone else is probably watching it. I’ll try again tomorrow”
HoorayPlatypus

Dad Quotes

14. This bit of truth
Watching “Chicken Run,” my dad suddenly exclaimed “yeah, right!All those chickens working together like that.”
AlyMeldrum

15. This classic dad joke
My first boyfriend played the saxophone in a ska band. When my dad met him, he told him to practice “safe sax”
jessicazap14

16. This cool dad joke
I called my dad to see if he had a stud finder and he casually replied, “mom’s at work.”
Pauliann23

17. This IRL Homer Simpson quote
When mom wouldn’t let dad build a maze of beer cans in our yard he said “You’re the cloak of darkness smothering my fire of fun.”
KristenRose124

18. This actually good idea
My dad once had a dream that he wrote a hit Easter song called “If It Hadn’t Been for Christmas.”
MyLittleGarrone

19. This embarrassment
Till this day, my dad still thinks Gwen says “there ain’t no harm in that, girl!” instead of “I ain’t no hollaback girl”
ayersem_

My Family Is Weird

20. This thing that makes you go hmmm
My mother orders frozen margaritas and then won’t drink them because they are too cold.
RockyHoare

21. This whatever you call it
My dad calls the minions from despicable me the dependables, morons, or pinions because he can’t remember their proper name
repu_tay_tion

22. This safety tip
When I was a kid, my dad cut the pointed tips off the party hats so we kids wouldn’t poke each others’ eyes out.
hullojess

23. This idea that is half batshit, half adorably awesome
When my brother and I are away at college, my mom sets our scarecrows at the dinner table to have as guests.

CptnSwan4TheWin

24. Well, same for this one
my grandma had professional photos taken with one of her dolls and a stuffed monkey

jennyskorusa

Via buzzfeed / Preview photo credit: © Hollywood Reporter