The sense of time I have as a millennial is so weird…
1970: About 30 years ago
1980: About 20 years ago
1990: About 10 years ago
2000: About 10 years ago
2010: About 1,000 years ago
2016: About 10,000 years ago
2018: About 1,000 years ago
Last week: About 1,000 years ago
quartzen / Via twitter.com

Me: how do I do my taxes
Public School: shut the fu*k up and square dance
markedly / Via twitter.com

literally no one:
me: are you mad at me?
TessaViolet / Via twitter.com

how I, a millennial, filter spam calls:
-if my phone rings, it’s spam
Raelet / Via twitter.com

person: *says something really sweet*
me: *reads it over and over for a month*
krazyleader / Via twitter.com

me before going through security at airport: what if i accidentally have a gun
jbfan911 / Via twitter.com

I’ve been hitting “remind me tomorrow” on a computer update for the last 68 years.
NicCageMatch / Via twitter.com

All I want is a complicated, interesting, rich TV series that I can follow while doing something else and occasionally leaving the room.
MarkHarrisNYC / Via twitter.com

Start of cleaning: I am a calm minimalist earth goddess
10 minutes later: Marie Kondo can suck my left titty I love my numerous towers of dusty junk that have given me depression
figgled / Via twitter.com

In my experience, adulthood is mostly piling stuff up on surfaces and then eventually having to clean off those surfaces
helgagrace / Via twitter.com

Crazy that every person in front of you at an ATM has never used an ATM before
BoobsRadley / Via twitter.com

me: wow I can’t wait to keep an open mind on this murder podcast
[a man who has refused to be interviewed is introduced into the story]
me: it was fu*ken him
/ Via twitter.com

anyone who was a “pleasure to have in class” has an anxiety disorder now
jacob_derodes / Via twitter.com

girls named megan are the worst because there are infinity ways to spell megan and every girl named megan is the kind of girl who gets extremely offended when you spell her name wrong. “uhhh it’s meaghaheahn, dumass!” ok sorry maugenst please forgive me and also leave
squidslippers / Via twitter.com

Is your dad really your dad if he doesn’t say “who?” after talking about any of your friends even if he’s known them for literally 7 years??
kelkatcox / Via twitter.com

if bohemian rhapsody starts playing and the person you’re with doesn’t start singing along and at least attempt the different voices, you really need to leave them alone. You just don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
ohhchunky / Via twitter.com

The most important thing I’ve learned in life, and I can’t stress this enough: you gotta make a salad in a bigger bowl than you think
KevinFarzad / Via twitter.com

me at 16: leave me alone mom im an adult
me at 23: mom if u dont come to the dentist with me ill end my sh*t
garyfromteenmom / Via twitter.com

I’m impressed with how ugly I’m willing to look in public these days
Imaaannmoooss / Via twitter.com

computer: “save this image as 6606499f1e5c84d7c30.png?”
me: “yea”
harriweinreb / Via twitter.com

does anyone remember when lol meant “laughing out loud” instead of “this is to indicate that this brief text isnt hostile”
sadgirlkms / Via twitter.com

Was speaking to a nurse on placement and she’s like “do you ever feel like you use all your niceness at work and then when you get home you’re not nice to anyone in the house” and I couldn’t relate anymore if I tried
xlisaloo / Via twitter.com

Things I Was Disappointed To Find Out Were True As An Adult:
1. I do feel better when I eat salad vs snack food as a meal
2. 8 hrs of sleep really does help my mood
3. Sitting in a chair vs flopping on a couch is better for my productivity
4. Drinking plain water is essential
Bibliogato / Via twitter.com

Adult culture is just walking around constantly astounded by how much everything costs
britrbennett / Via twitter.com

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: Raelet / twitter.com