I'm driving halfway across the country to go to a specific zoo that sells the good dipping dots y'all want some?
I'm not lying on the floor physically, but I am lying on the floor spiritually.
Please don't talk to me, please don't talk to me.
"'Why tattoos? You wouldn’t put stickers on a nice car.' Ma’am I am at best a 2003 Corolla."
Are you SURE you're not mad at me?
"The retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. I've had enough."
"I have yet to 'jump on a call' that wasn't a waste of my time."
*Cries into avocado toast.*
"being single is like… it’s just you and your bottle of water"
Introverts don't get ready for a party. They gather strength for a party.
It's Friday night. All my friends are out drinking and I'm at watching Moana.
You know a book is good when you stop reading and forget where the hell you are.
Damn, Instagram filter technology has REALLY advanced.
Poop, sweat, and tears.
Once I hate your boyfriend for you there’s no going back.