1.
do u ever feel like ur pulling an academic icarus flying too close to your deadlines on wings of deeply flawed time management
ginnylionheart
2.
i always change my mind about everything except the password i have been using since i was 10
pizza
3.
don’t u try and lie to me and say u don’t like one of your pillows more than the others
done
4.
*SLAMS FIST ON TABLE* ow
slimetony
5.
me when astrology doesnt match my personality: this is liberal hippie trash and honestly, I am the one who decides what kind of person I am, not some con artist trying to make a quick buck
me when astrology matches my personality: this is honestly so scary, i can literally feel the planets aligning and I am one with the earth, moon and the stars *grabs handful of dirt for no reason*
unfollowfriday
6.
me before showering: i don’t want to shower
me once in the shower: i live here now
i-have-no-gender-only-rage
7.
like i love pomegranates but eating them is such an ordeal. ya gotta like. clear your schedule. gotta make it an Event. tomorrow at 2:00 pm im gonna eat this pomegranate. it ain’t just on the fly.
ghostecutioner
8.
*someone asks me to do something in my job, where i am paid to do things*
floozys
9.
me: does nothing for five days
me: today is a “me” day I deserve it I need to relax
jakepassas
10.
the box says “four servings” but my heart says one
barackobamas
11.
*pushes tear back into eye* not now
whismical
12.
person: compliments me
me, fighting through 25 layers of self hatred: ………thank….you……
officialinternet
13.
officialinternet
14.
the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it….astounding
bpdsuperboy
15.
me: *cuts someone toxic out of my life*
also me: *feels bad about it*
rosewater1997
16.
“Allow cookies to cool for 10-15 minutes”
colourofoctober
17.
me at 15 years-old: don’t tell me what to do
me at 20 years-old: please tell me what to do
vityanikiforova
18.
me when i am mildly inconvenienced: thIS IS THE WORST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME
me when i am legitimately hurt/distressed: no no it’s fine i’ve had worse
sgtjamiebuchanan
19.
mankind? No. man mean
emogender
20.
@ the bad eyebrow : I feed u I bathe u I groom u and yet … U forsake me like this
riceblush
21.
me looking at old pics of myself: i dont know her
sappling