[horror movie]
child: mommy i’m scawed
mom: it’s ok sweetie. just hug the human-sized clown toy with bloody teeth that I purchased for you

If your horror movie doesn’t have someone lookin up old crimes on a microfiche go fuck yourself

Whenever the lights go out in a horror movie I assume it’s because the ghost is trying to be prudent with the utilities

White people in horror movies love being a family of 3 and buying big ass fixer uppers for families of 8 in the middle of nowhere

I just want to be as happy as a character in the first half hour of a horror movie

A horror movie set in an office called GOT A SEC?

LinkedIn emails are as close as I’ll ever get to being in a horror movie where the dead chant, “Join us.”

“it unfollows” – twitter horror movie

[horror movie]
DOG: *wipes the steam off the bathroom mirror and sees a vacuum standing behind her*

I would die first in a horror movie. Not because I’m black but because I refuse to spend the last few minutes of my life running.

Lullaby sung by an adult to a child: Adorable.
Lullaby sung by a child to an adult: Trailer for a horror movie.

Am I in some sort of adorable horror movie


Ive seen a lot of stupid behavior in horror movies but this lady in Friday the 13th just put her towel on in the shower while it was running

every movie is a horror movie when the characters don’t use coasters

For crying out loud, Hollywood! One! Just one! Just make one horror movie where every victim gets violently murdered mid-sneeze. Or two!

I think someone should do the “He’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?” gag in a horror movie where it is followed by a brutal stabbing.

The scariest part of SCREAM is when a male stranger thinks you want to hear his opinions on horror movies.

why every horror movie these days about a baby juggalo lookin motherfucker


One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children

Giving a look to the singing woman on the train and realizing she won’t stop is like in horror movies where someone tries shooting a ghost

I read somewhere that horror movies are just as scared of us as we are of them

Is the point of horror movies right now to have a nice break from reality with a good ol’ scream-laugh with a clown

if there’s anything I’ve learned from horror movies it’s that all dolls should be purchased new in the original packaging