#1

my body: *gives me signals to sleep the whole entire day*

me: *goes to bed*

my body: https://t.co/56RpHRcGC5

— ✶ (@existings) November 6, 2019

#2

After i say “ that’s crazy “ twice, please wrap up ur story

— Zak (@mtroskiII) October 14, 2019

#3

proud to announce that i will be participating in No Noise November this month. please do not speak to me. i will not be listening

— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) November 1, 2019

#4

Scarlett Johansson when she eventually plays a Latina in a movie pic.twitter.com/pLHxIM3hnO

— Lupita’s campaign manager (@Aminoncinema) October 14, 2019

#5

when ur playing "cards against humanity" and u think ur card is hilarious and then the person reads it out loud and not a single person laughs, yeah that sh*t hurts

— ig: itsnotdarwin (@itsnotdarwin) November 7, 2019

#6

It’s NO-vember. Don’t ask me for sh*t

— man wit a plan (@CaliShottie) November 1, 2019

#7

[5am]

Cat: *retching in the hallway*

Me: *tired moan*

My dog: *kisses my forehead* I’ll go.

— steph (@eff_yeah_steph) November 6, 2019

#8

cavernsking / Via twitter.com

#9

my resting face vs my personality https://t.co/pBoZbrLJQv

— JJ amaro (@JJmostdopee) November 5, 2019

#10

when your friends make fun of your biggest insecurity but you have to act like it doesn't bother you https://t.co/EeOTAvPJJa

—(@clearily) October 4, 2019

#11

Nobody:

11year old me: pic.twitter.com/WacFLQoVVa

— (@Yaboyleeoo) November 4, 2019

#12

what they say it is: a 9-5

what it actually is: waking up at 6am, leaving the house by 7:30, staying late to finish up work and leaving the building at 6pm, getting home at 7:30 due to rush hour, sitting on the couch for 30 mins questioning everything. a 6am- 8pm.

— fairy god mom (@lyxopk) November 1, 2019

#13

when you and another student see each other on the same google doc at 2 am pic.twitter.com/lJFPw3pfDt

— Transgender Supremacist (@wintermintleaf) October 21, 2019

#14

when you try pulling the hotel blanket from where it’s tucked pic.twitter.com/bSIk8azVJ6

—(@kaylasheagg) November 4, 2019

#15

my white blood cells fighting off a cold pic.twitter.com/Wvm2Z6bnU0

— Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) November 5, 2019

#16

*sees kids in heelys*

me at age 10: god that looks so cool
me at age 15: god that looks so cool
me at age 24: god that looks so cool

— Puri (@Purilly) September 15, 2019

#17

mrsburtmacklin / Via twitter.com

#18

snapchat filters work on cats pic.twitter.com/jbSZ892dFM

— esmé (@g4bber) October 3, 2019

#19

flight: scheduled to depart at 3 pm

my parents at 4 am: pic.twitter.com/UGJa0AEcun

— omar (@omarIoya) October 17, 2019

#20

nobody:
primary school teachers: and then he swung back on his chair and died

— bratz angel (@gothincolour) August 31, 2019

#21

Me: Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your McOrder?

McDonalds Boss: Again *rubs temples* you don't need to put Mc in front of words

Me: Oh ok *turns back to customer* welcome to Donalds

— Jon (@ArfMeasures) October 18, 2019

#22

waiter: would you like a soup or salad?

clark kent: [laughs nervously] a super salad? i'll just have a regular salad please

waiter: alri-

clark kent: [loudly] a regular salad for a regular man

— moose (@tiemoose) September 1, 2019

#23

The four stages of a day off:

1. I will do so much stuff
2. Later I'll do lots of stuff
3. Eventually, I'll do some stuff
4. Oh no.

— Little Miss Badass (@littlemzbadass) October 19, 2019

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: cavernsking / twitter.com