my answer to everything is “I’ll start a google doc.” Have an idea for a new project? Start a google doc. Need to do laundry? Open a new doc. Body is begging me to eat a vegetable and leave my bed for the first time all dsy? Gooooooooogle doc
alyssalimp / Via twitter.com

When girls say they are “running errands” they’re actually at TJ Maxx sniffing candles for 45 minutes
mberwebb / Via twitter.com


cemcostello / Via twitter.com


_jodiemoorex / Via twitter.com

computer: “save this image as 6606499f1e5c84d7c30.png?”
me: “yea”
harriweinreb / Via twitter.com


tribranchvo / Via twitter.com

recipe writers: tsp is teaspoon, tbsp is tablespoon
me, an intellectual: tusp
recipe writer: no
me: tubusp
agbouskila / Via twitter.com


TheAdamCardenas / Via twitter.com


qoslinq / Via twitter.com

me: if you drink this coffee you’re gonna get jittery and anxious and you’re gonna feel sick later.
my brain: good bean juice taste like chocolate make me go fast
itspaigealena / Via twitter.com

me: *zones out for 60 min of important work meeting*
me: eh
me: *zones out for 6 seconds of a TV show*
me: reTHEFU*Kwind
keelyflaherty / Via twitter.com

me: I really shouldn’t eat out today; I have to save money
me: if you buy food with cash, it’ll be like you’re not spending money bc the number in your bank account will be the same
me: sh*t can’t argue with that logic let’s eat
penhoIder / Via twitter.com

90% of my web searches are me googling words to make sure they actually mean what i think they mean before i post them online
adequateGF / Via twitter.com


dracomallfoys / Via twitter.com

Hello world!
I am going to tell you about this awful problem I have! Every time I type out a professional email I cannot help but write like this! I cannot stop this habit for I am afraid people will think I am uninterested and rude! Please send help!
Thank you for your time!
jacobmaxwells / Via twitter.com

Sorry i’m late I sat on my bed in a towel for an hour staring at the wall
peyton_darnelll / Via twitter.com


ajwellman_ / Via twitter.com

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: qoslinq / twitter