1.
[Interview room]
Me: I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present
Cop: You ARE the lawyer
Me: So where’s my present?!
MarfSalvador
2.
Great, I clicked on “Start Your free Trial and now I’m convicted of murder.”
InternetHippo
3.
Uber Steffen
4.
beepbeepmeow
5.
raydeep
7.
ShinySatan
8.
LAWYER: [whispers] i did the murder [loudly] read that back?
STENOGRAPHER: “I Did The Murder.”
JUDGE: omg the stenographer just confessed
jonnysun
9.
[court]
LAWYER: Did u kill him?
L: You know what the punishment is for committing perjury?
ME [lips on the mic] Much less than murder
ArfMeasures
10.
ME: Well, I said bye to someone but then we started walking in the same direction so I panicked and murdered them.
JUDGE: Case dismissed!
Diversion50
11.
dashmesh
12.
Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They’ll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman.
MindyFurano
13.
unknown
15.
dildo_baggins16
16.
ClamsEatBees
18.
quecono
19.
daaanish
20.
unknown