#1

curledbitch / Via twitter.com

#2

ULTRAGLOSS / Via twitter.com

#3

seeking a hades/persephone style romantic arrangement where six months out of the year i live with my rich-as-hell husband in a palace and then he is literally not allowed to speak to me for the next six months while i pursue my independent creative projects

— christine calella (@ct_calella) November 23, 2019

#4

meeracleshappen / Via twitter.com

#5

chlostrophobic / Via twitter.com

#6

there is no reason for the first splash mountain ad to be this horny pic.twitter.com/RySVoxkaKl

— csol (@CourtneySoliday) November 22, 2019

#7

TheDweck / Via twitter.com

#8

met a woman in a bathroom line last night who told me she was a writer and I said I was one too and she was like "oh we're that Spiderman meme" and then we both immediately, instinctively pointed fingers at each other and I'm still thinking about it

— Madison Malone Kircher (@4evrmalone) November 21, 2019

#9

Hey boss sorry I’m 3 hours late I was trying to figure out how influencers tuck giant sweaters into tiny skirts

— Sam Reece (@SamanthaaaReece) November 18, 2019

#10

JilliBearr / Via twitter.com

#11

if you pay 5 extra dollars you should be able to watch CATS without CGI. just like, james corden covered in green dots licking his own hand

— Alison Herman (@aherman2006) November 19, 2019

#12

ClaraBiznass / Via twitter.com

#13

I’ve been laughing for 10 mins straight pic.twitter.com/YWLypWrlLe

— Naj (@Zencsss) November 19, 2019

#14

sammylynn_ / Via twitter.com

#15

my mom just sent me this video of my brother singing sins and i’m literally crying pic.twitter.com/uOhEvYmnYO

— kiera ☆ TODAY 271 (@fandomdemos) January 21, 2019

#16

riquelz96 / Via twitter.com

#17

Detective trying to solve my murder: there are two wine glasses on her nightstand… this must mean she had company.

My ghost lighting up a ghost cigarette: lol ok big man let’s go with that

— Christine Nangle (@nanglish) November 20, 2019

#18

wawaquesadillas / Via twitter.com

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: ULTRAGLOSS / twitter.com