1. My favorite gym day is when I do 20 minutes of untangling my ear buds and then leave because I’m hungry. @TheCatWhisprer

2. My first workout back at the gym was great… I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital. @joeljeffrey

Fitness status: Saved a bunch of workout videos on fb for later.
Much later.
Probably never look at them again. @AngelaEhh

[at the gym]
Me: what does this machine do?
“Sir, that’s a bench.”
Me: perfect. @thatdutchperson

5. “What the fuck are we doing” – my legs during recreational jogging @senderblock23

Huff, puff, pass…
- Me trying to run this morning. @girlontapas

7. I thought a spin cycle class was about laundry. @HousewifeOfHell

8. The most grueling part of my workout is putting jeans on in the locker room when I’m still kinda wet from the shower. @alispagnola

9. Gym Instructor: I’m sorry, what did you say your goal was? Me: [louder and slower] I want to be able to throw myself over a moat @bea_ker

Ugh, who has time to work out?
-I say before a 45 minute nap. @angibangie

[at the gym]
“Excuse me where are the stepper machines?”
Up on the 2nd floor
*takes the elevator* @DanMentos

12. Just stopped in the middle of my run to pet a golden retriever puppy, am I doing fitness right? @lindsaygholmes

13. I’ve never done CrossFit but I have chased my shopping list through a windy parking lot before. @SuperRandomish

14. Me: Can’t. I’m exhausted from all the CrossFit this morning. Him: It’s pronounced ‘croissant’ & how the hell did you eat the entire dozen?! @xLiserx

15. I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that’ll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote. @thatdutchperson

16. My exercise plan: I will not stop coming to this gym until I have memorized all syndicated seasons of Bones via closed captioning. @PFTompkins

17. Just added ‘Wandering Around the Parking Lot Looking for My Car’ as another Track Exercise on my Fitbit. @Just__J0

18. I was going to go running but no one was chasing me. @1evilidiot

19. I cried at the gym today bc the elevator was broken & I had to take the stairs. It was like they made me exercise b4 I was gonna exercise @nicolebyer

How to get ready for the #gym:
Throw on sports bra
Put on leggings & comfy top
Grab shaker cup
Pour wine into it
Sit on couch
Netflix @GinaLivorsii

21. Thing I Counted As Exercise Today: Going to exchange a sweater but forgetting the sweater, then eating a burrito and going home. @joshgondelman

22. My workout playlist is one song. @KentWGraham

23. Sit-ups are the best exercise because they include the most lying down. @13spencer

24. I’m the best at pretending there’s something wrong with the machine at the gym when I don’t know how to use it. @zacharyflynn