1.
I’ve spent my whole adult life chasing the high of a scholastic book fair
Merman_Melville
2.
My only goal when getting ready to go out in public is to make sure a teenager doesn’t take a discreet picture of my outfit and meme me
Mr_Kapowski
3.
Mother: can you please fix my computer
Me: *leans back in chair* well… well … well … if it isn’t Miss ‘Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006
TheCheish
4.
age 18: who’s this 23 year old a*shole
age 23: who’s this 18 year old a*shole
age 30: who’s this 29 year old a*shole
tarashoe
5.
Exciting perks of adulthood:
1. Busy! Busy all the time! What are you even doing? You don’t know!
2. Very tired.
3. Some kinda stomach ache???
4. Definitely sad about something.
5. Bills! Bills all the time! What are you even paying for? You don’t know!
marcformarc
6.
Millennial: wow cool Ramones t-shirt. Did you get it from a website
Me: (my face is red and steam is shooting out my ears): THE MALL!!!!
nickciarelli
7.
Being an adult is like being a Quentin Tarantino movie: it starts out real cool, there’s lots of cursing, it’s very confusing, everyone dies
SamGrittner
8.
My workout schedule:
Age 20: Ran every day.
Age 25: Exercised once a week.
Age 31: Pulled a muscle walking to the fridge.
XplodingUnicorn
9.
[at a party]
Me: *over the music* DO YOU HAVE A RECYCLING BIN?
ZappullaJ
10.
One day you’re not old and the next day you have a favorite grocery store.
Contwixt
11.
[concert]
SINGER: hows everyone doin tonight
CROWD: woo
ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): it’s actually been a tough few months
bobvulfov
12.
people aren’t allowed to be better than me and younger than me. choose one
lustcluster
13.
Adulthood is mostly whispering
“For Fu*ks sake”
Every time the phone rings
themrsik
14.
My 20s: *drinks all the drinks, does all the drugs, has all the sex.
My 30s: *sits on the couch until it’s no longer too early to go to bed
thatdutchperson
15.
[checks Facebook & sees my 4th grade girlfriend has liked my hot chocolate recipe share]
ME: I knew she’d come crawling back to me one day
AndyAsAdjective
16.
all i wanna do is
[gunshot noise x4]
[cash register noise x2]
get healthy, have a job i love, and be happy
mrkoodge
17.
my parents, at 27: married, with a kid
me, at 27: i prefer ordering pizza Online so i don’t have to ever interact with a human person
alex_icon
18.
Adulthood is emailing “sorry for the delayed response!” back and forth until one of you dies
Marissa__Miller
19.
Me: It’s like that episode where Brenda and Dylan-
Therapist: Who?
Me: Forget it. You can’t help me.
LurkAtHomeMom
20.
tfw you aren’t being grilled by the Senate Judiciary Committee
JeffYoung
21.
In my twenties i thought i was an extrovert but it turns out i was just drunk and screaming
omgstephlol
22.
Shout out to my mom. im sorry i rolled my eyes when u were confused by pop culture. i get it now. i have no idea who the fu*k bebe rexha or lil tay is. i never really found out about the laurel vs yanny thing. im confused and strangely angry and i wanna have a sit.
prophethusband