1.
yall dont think i read replies to my tweets huh? in my mentions like “choke me daddy”. is that funny to you beth

@callmeshitto

2.
I called “daddy” in your phone and it wasn’t your father
@SomeDudeRJ

3.
*daughter grabs 50 shades of grey*
NO!
*smacks it out of her hand*
“I want to color!”
ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK
“But daddy-”
DON’T CALL ME THAT
@SatansTongue

4.
Instead of “Who’s your daddy?” I accidentally said “How’s your daddy?” and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father’s cholesterol
@iAmGolfy

5.
“My bf and I were having dinner with my family and I asked for my daddy to pass the sriracha my bf and my dad both reached for it” – Harvard
@collegefession

6.
Biden: Choke me, daddy
Obama: Joe, what did you just say
Biden: Tighter, Barry, Tighter

@Playing_Dad

7.
daddy kinks are old news smh protect the ozone layer if u a real freak
@Bill_Nye_Tho

8.
dont call me daddy if ur not gonna be a burden on my life for at least 18 years
@sexualjumanji

9.
“So Louis is a father…”
Harry: No girl, he’s a daddy

@hazzsmysunshine

10.
the gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian
@ltsKermit

11.
Her: “Choke me daddy”
Me: *Feeds her Popeyes biscuits with no drink*

@RANDOMVlDS

12.
*girl calls me daddy*
*hammer appears in my hand*
“oh no”
*I start building a deck*
“what have you done”
*grill turns itself on*
@ProdigyNelson

13.
Apparently, “he’s an army officer” isn’t the correct response to “who’s your daddy”.
@RoohaniDeshp

14.
Her: I only like smart guys
Me: E=MC2
Her: choke me daddy
Me:…but I only like smart girls
Her: restrict my airflow patriarchal figure
@rudy_mustang

15.
Imagine being a celeb & writing a tweet and within 0.5 seconds someone replies with “CHOKE ME DADDY” no matter what the context of the tweet
@lolzdonz

16.
i’m totally addicted to the star wars clone wars tv series and i’m in love with anakin skywalker force choke me dad i mean darth i mean what
@danisnotonfire

17.
church
you’ve heard of the daddy kink, now get ready for
heart