1. You could commit suicide by jumping from your “ego level” to your “IQ level”.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. Shut up, you’ll never be the man your mother is.

4. It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.

5. If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.

6. I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.

7. Your mother should have thrown you away and kept the stork.

8. What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants its ass back?

9. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.

10. You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement right away.

11. I heard you changed your mind. What did you do with the diaper?

12. Shhhh…that’s the sound of nobody caring what you think.

13. Did you have an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

14. If ignorance is bliss, you must be overjoyed.

15. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege!

16. Go on. Add some variety to your sex life…use the other hand.

17. Those penis enlargement pills you took must be working. You’re a bigger dick now than you were last week.

18. I can’t believe that out of 100,000,000 sperm, you were the one that made it.

via Quora