1.
[grocery produce aisle]
ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots?
CLERK: No, why do you ask?
CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
@TheToddWilliams

2.
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it’s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
@Dawn_M_

3.
Canabalism.

@Catch_Frase

4.
Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?
Human: we are an advanced species
A: how do you travel?
H: we light old dinosaurs on fire
@johnbiehl

5.
Biologist screws up:
Mutant killer virus
Physicist screws up:
Deadly black hole
Geologist screws up:
Rock on table is now rock on floor
@AlexRogaski

6.
Scientists recently discovered T-Rex hunted in packs, confirming once again that we should all send that asteroid a thank you card.
@WombatDojo

7.
There’s a bird in the yard and she’s shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.
@Bandersnaaatch

8.
We basically broke up with Pluto by saying it wasn’t a planet anymore then spent 9yrs obsessing about it & just drove by its house real slow
@River_Niles

9.
Scientists claim that the Big Bang was the loudest noise that has ever occured in history. They obviously haven’t met my kids.
@slimmy_shady

10.
Science is tricky. Keeps you on your toes.
Mineralogy? Study of minerals.
Oceanology? Study of oceans.
Meteorology? NOT ABOUT METEORS.
@AdamOfEarth

11.
Why yes, I do live under a rock. It’s called the moon.
@ashleykiwi26

12.
SCIENTIST: Climate change is killing Earth
PEOPLE: Eh I guess
SCIENTIST: Dogs hate hugs
PEOPLE: I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR PRIMARY DATA SOURCES
@rynbtmn

13.
Sometimes I wonder whether we are not smart enough to realize how simple our Brains actually are.
@neiltyson

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