“it seems like you have been pregnant forever” o really it seems like u have been blocked because i am petty
chrissyteigen / Via twitter.com

2-year-old: *stares at a pregnant lady in church*
Me: She has a baby in her tummy.
2: *whispering* She ate it.
XplodingUnicorn / Via twitter.com

At that point in the final stage of pregnancy where after I drop something on the floor I say to myself, “I’ll just pick that up once the baby is here.”
AndreaKBrooks / Via twitter.com


SufficientCharm / Via twitter.com

Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.
ToonieLane / Via twitter.com

Having a cold while being pregnant is like getting a parking ticket while you’re at the dentist.
KristenBell / Via twitter.com

Other pregnant woman: I like to do yoga and an hour of cardio each day. It helps me appreciate the wonders of what my body is capable of right now

Me: I almost suffocated while trying to put my shoes on this morning
saltymermaident / Via twitter.com

Me- *Coughs really hard.
3- Don’t worry Mommy, I get you dry pants!
PedersenAhmed / Via twitter.com

(I am 6 months pregnant)
Me after ordering my coffee:
Stranger at Starbucks: you know you should be drinking decaf when you’re pregnant.
Me: I’m… not pregnant.
Stranger: (horrified) I am so, so sorry!
And that’s what you get for giving unsolicited advice.
Diamond_Jax / Via twitter.com

7-year-old upon learning I am pregnant: “It’s the breastfeeding that will get ya. Breastfeeding is killer.”
rachelheldevans / Via twitter.com

Baby brain is real. I should not be permitted to operate heavy equipment including iPhones.
oliviawilde / Via twitter.com

I ran to protect our new TV when the earthquake hit. My wife is pregnant. We’re having a conversation now.
PatCunnane / Via twitter.com

Pregnancy hormones make you want to either rip your husband’s clothes off or his head off.
There is literally nothing in between.
PedersenAhmed / Via twitter.com

It’s official. I no longer have ankles.
serenawilliams / Via twitter.com

My wife and I went for a walk and halfway through she got scared that we left the baby at the house. It’s still in her stomach.
JeremyMcLellan / Via twitter.com


House_Feminist / Via twitter.com

I have come to realize that at some point in the day, I will order and consume a pizza so it might as well be in the morning
chrissyteigen / Via twitter.com

*whispers to first-time pregnant lady*
“Six years from now you’ll be hiding in a closet, scrolling Twitter with dead eyes.”
MomOnFire / Via twitter.com

Me: What would look better with this, tennis shoes or boots?
Husband: It doesn’t really matter, you’re just going to look super pregnant regardless.
Husband: I am so sorry.
Mirimade / Via twitter.com

If you eat a pregnant girls food, you’re required to have the baby for her
_Mo_lee_ / Via twitter.com


JessicaSimpson / Via twitter.com

My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight.
Frankly, I’d rather cut the Obgyn.
FullMetalMommy / Via twitter.com


VancityReynolds, medikmonster68 / Via twitter.com

Being pregnant is the best way to get unwanted advice on literally anything.
Swishergirl24 / Via twitter.com

3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play?
Pregnant wife: No, honey. She’s not ready yet.
3-year-old: Babies are lazy.
XplodingUnicorn / Via twitter.com

In my next life I definitely want to look like Ciara pregnant and not how I look right now, which is a hot swollen mess hahaha!
kellyclarkson / Via twitter.com

4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant.
I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said:
“I never want to do that again.”
zoevsuniverse / Via twitter.com

*pregnant wife wakes up*
I think my water broke
*I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed*
Let’s go to the hospital
BuckyIsotope / Via twitter.com

Well it finally happened in my 8th month of pregnancy, I just sat on a man’s hand and bag when he wouldn’t move them off the last spare seat on the bus. We’re now sharing a very quiet ride.
BrydieLK / Via twitter.com

My husband is over here like “pregnancy is magical!!!! Let’s have 3 more.” Okay you were chowing on chips while I was in labor screaming. Bye Jake.
lexieim_ / Via twitter.com

I just read that pregnant women in stressful jobs/home situations are more likely to carry female fetuses to term because male fetuses are less likely to survive that stress and if that isn’t nature’s subtweet i don’t know what is
surlybassey / Via twitter.com


JennyJohnsonHi5 / Via twitter.com

This baby is sucking the life from me. Drinking my water, making me dry. Eating my food, making me hungry. Taking my health, making me sick. Why do we create these monsters they want us dead
chrissyteigen / Via twitter.com

Via BuzzFeed, Preview photo credit: JessicaSimpson / twitter.com, serenawilliams / twitter.com