1.
Pets are so weird like it’s just this little individual that lives in your gaff and you can’t speak to each other but you’re just best mates
@HannahMurphy251
2.
Why dae pot noodles have instructions? If ye canny figure out how tae pour hot water intae a container then ye shouldny be allowed a kettle
@Goudie15
3.
its mad to think that if you buy a triple sandwich at Tesco, someone else is eating the other half of the same sandwich
@ryanrochford1
4.
I’m off to bed
@MattNugentYC
5.
mental tae hink that you nd a pal ae urs won’t be able to go to each others funeral, blew ma mind
@RyanCarabine_
6.
Why do we say Sean like shon but we dinny say bean like bon
@dov97
7.
imagine if toast was a4 size
@madeforpickup
8.
How sad is it that one day was the last time you went out to play with ur pals n you never even realised it
@rachelbissett
9.
Mad how yie get 6 points and a £200fine for being on yer phone yet there’s folk oot there way eyelashes on there motor n getting away wae it
@McneilAlexander
10.
See how we’ve got wallpaper of New York and that in rooms, Ye hink Americans have wallpaper wae flats in the gorbals or suhin
@AndyMcGregor95
12.
Fucking weird that if you wanna get to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping
@j_bennett9
13.
Ave just been informed if ye say “Space Ghetto” in an American accent it sounds like “Spice Girl” in a Scottish accent and a canny stop
@fairlyoddgraeme
14.
no hink it’s heavy weird u blow on yer hands tae keep them warm but blow on yer tea tae to cool it down? aye well a find it weird anyway
@Brandon_Jxckson
15.
Wee bro just suggested they make Chinese menus like Avon books so u rub ur wrist on a page n smell wit u wanty eat. Tht wean is the future x
@CaitsEwing_
16.
19 year on this planet n av just realised sweatbands on folks wrists are for wiping the sweat on their forehead n not wrist sweat
@MitchellGirvin
17.
Why does yer mirror, front camera, back camera make ye look so different in every wan??? Wit wan is the real me
@morganmcconnn
18.
Clowns are just goths on eccies
@Goudie15
19.
honestly last night someone asked me if crabs think we walk sideways n a havent stopped thinkin about it since
@ninagilbert7