1.
One way to find out if you’re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you’re young, if they panic, you’re old.
@sharniist
2.
I’m so old I remember when fame was a by-product of talent.
@goldengateblond
3.
you know you’re getting old when people your age are having babies on purpose
@_viibbe
4.
My daughter just asked why we say “hang up” the phone and now I feel 90.
@EnglishJason
5.
You know you’re getting old when all of your injuries are a result of “sleeping weird”
@theyearofelan
6.
You know you’re getting older when you have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
@FFloatables
7.
on aging:
21 yrs – woo!
22 yrs – woo!
23 yrs – woo!
24 yrs – woo!
25 yrs – woo!
26 yrs – wait
27 yrs – oh god
28 yrs – please make it stop
@soccrchik17
8.
becoming older than 10 years old was the biggest mistake of my life
@onherperiod
9.
Age 15: someday I’m going to own a Ferrari
Age 20: maybe I’ll get a BMW someday
Age 25: I hope someone in a Mercedes hits me in a crosswalk
@shutupmikeginn
10.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
@TheBoydP
11.
I know I’m getting old because I just saw a group of hot chicks in bikinis and my first thought was “I hope they’re wearing sunblock.”
@Smethanie
12.
You know you’re old when you enjoy having a day off to do laundry, clean and have a cup of tea without being rushed
@annawotts
13.
I thought I was just really tired but it’s been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now.
@amydillon
14.
You know you’re getting old when you watch Home Alone and wonder how much their mortgage is!
@tonysheps
15.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
@CelebrityChez
16.
One day you’re not old and the next day you have a favorite grocery store.
@Contwixt
17.
21 “you’re so young” 22 “you’re so young” 23 “you’re so young” 24 “you’re so young” 25 “are you married? How’s your career going?”
@Psychoticsass
18.
True mark of adulthood: instead of your parents scheduling your doctor’s appointments, you just avoid going to the doctor & hope u don’t die
@KevinFarzad
19.
Your 30′s mostly consist of getting excited when you find out a professional athlete is older than you.
@behindyourback
20.
Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad? Good times.
@missekay
21.
You know you’re getting old when you wake up feeling hungover & you didn’t even have anything to drink.
@SCbchbum
22.
It’s Friday night & I’ve been in bed watching Netflix & eating snacks for 3 hours. Never let anyone tell you that getting old is terrible.
@Dschnoeb
23.
Dating pool in your 20′s vs your 30′s
@damanr
24.
its important to get your shit together at an early age, so that when you get older, you have a big cohesive pile of shit
@mikefossey
25.
By the time I get used to how old I am, I’m 10 years older than that.
@abbycohenwl
26.
20s: I can do anything I want, the world is my oyster
30s: standing here hurts my back
@senderblock23
27.
Life goals change as you get older. For example as a kid I wanted to be a veterinarian and now I just aspire to make it through the workday.
@OhNoSheTwitnt
28.
i would hate to be someone who is “gone too soon” but i love that it suggests there’s an age to die where we go “ahh… right on time”
@electrolemon
29.
“We’re going to need a urine sample.”
25 year old me: “I can’t go.”
51 year old me: “Right there – I dribbled down your hallway.”
@juneohara65
30.
Kind of getting into this whole “going to bed early” thing old people keep going on about.
@michaelianblack