The top 10 alcohol consumers drink more than half.
"A drunk girl is going around feeding people Doritos at a party. It's so pure."
If drunk, don't drive and don't send texts.
Parenting is hard, but having a margarita isn't.
Woke up at 3 a.m. feeling like a cow was licking my brain.
Why drunk-text an ex when you can text your mom instead?
I walked in on one of my drunk roommates reading Bible verses to my drunker, passed out roommate.
I called a taxi to take me home. Dude, the party was at ur house.
Hello did you get eaten by a shark?
A cleanse for me is switching to white wine.
Today, I decided not to drink. And that's enough.
The fact that I know I'm drunk is proof that I'm sober.
If they seem to be a bit embarrassing, don’t worry — at least these people have some cool stories to share.
Sometimes weird and wonderful things just happen while you are snoozing away, blissfully unaware of the scenario awaiting you first thing next morning.
Phones these days should come with a warning: Don't drink and text!!!