1. Used to love mosh pits for the aggressive human contact but now I just shop at Trader Joe’s on a Sunday @Simon_Barrett

2. Why can’t our government be run with the same friendly efficiency as a Trader Joe’s? @rainnwilson

3. when the Trader Joe’s cashier flirts with another customer I get jealous and buy a second frozen pizza so he thinks I’m having fun tonight @davedittell

Trader Joes Real Estate Agent: How’s the parking lot?
Landlord: Terrible.
Trader Joes Real Estate Agent: We’ll take it! @mentalpod

A list of people who need to calm down
- everyone in the Trader Joes parking lot @LaurenMineau

ME: put all the money in a bag!
TRADER JOE’S EMPLOYEE: oh, you don’t have your own? @davedittell

7. [in extremely white guy voice] who ate all my trader joe’s soy chorizo @rad_milk

“We could go to Trader Joe’s that’d be fun!”
a glimpse into my social life @noahsebastian_

9. I go to Trader Joe’s for great deals and the opportunity to whisper “excuse me” 200 times. @BillDixonish

10. All the rap guys try to impress women by buying expensive champagne at the club. That’s basically me, only with Fiji Water at Trader Joe’s @SortaBad

11. If I ever did drugs I’d definitely do Trader Joe’s peppermint joe joes @daviddeweil

12. My local Trader Joe’s has run out of coconut oil. I just hope this doesn’t end in violence @GloriaFallon123

13. *picks the line with cute trader joes cashier* @myfinedevine

14. My anxiety is never more crippling than when I’m checking out at Trader Joe’s trying to figure out if I forgot to grab something @sbstryker

15. Someday, someone is going to see me eating veggie straws or chocolate out of my Trader Joe’s bag on the train and think, “She’s the one.” @arden_walker

16. Trader Joe’s plastic containers are so loud, no damn way you’re sneaking a mini muffin. everyone heard it @pauldanke

17. Being an adult is getting Trader Joe’s gift cards for Christmas and being stoked on it @Jordan_Hartman

18. I’ve never felt cooler than when a Trader Joe’s cashier said “love this” to something I bought. @MelissaStetten

19. What’s the worst thing you’ve had in your cart while running into an ex-hookup at Trader Joe’s? Mine’s 6 cans of clearly marked BEEF CHILI @smelbz

20. Woman in front of me at Trader Joe’s is buying three bottles of wine and eggs. Is this when you say, “Get it, girl!”? @NoahGarfinkel

Trader Joe’s is a privately held chain of neighborhood grocery stores based in Monrovia, California, in Greater Los Angeles. As of October 28, 2016, Trader Joe’s had 460 stores nationwide in 41 states and in Washington, D.C.